About Moon

I think of moon subtly. I love it subtly. And I like to think it thinks of me subtly too. 

Most of the time. I either forget the full moon date or it gets clouded the other times. But I have loved to sit and watch it caress over cold wintry skies. I simply sit and stare over its elegant move. Somehow, I have found writing and moon staring to be therapeutic. 

A CHALLENGE!

To say it has been that way recently would be a lie. It has been that way for a long time - spending too much on the phone. I might not accept but this may even be addiction. I have tried to figure out ways to live without phone but I have always been on the defeated side. So, I give this challenge to myself, to reduce screen time to 2 hours daily. 

The thing is, to challenge to cut off completely would be a blatant lie to myself. 

Places I want to visit

 I used to be a little obsessed with traveling but as I have aged over the years of my late teens, the fire has somehow subsided. Now that financial stuff have taken to shake me a bit, it is more about affordability than my love for traveling. But there are a few places I would absolutely love to at least have a taste of. 

Switzerland is one of the places I used to write down during my school years as my "dream place". It is the same still. It is similar to Bhutan, only that it is more advanced and developed. The lakes I have seen in photos are absolutely amazing-the blueish green hue is breathtaking. Jut for the love of mountains and how much peaceful it looks, I want to go there, hopefully, one day. 

There are few other places but for now lets keep it one. 

Describing My Personality

I have loved writing, all the way since I found a companionship in it. And it is always better, as far as I know, to love something not too much. Well, it is practically known that watering too much can kill a plant. 

So, since some hiatus, I am here on my chair on a drizzly July morning, trying to write something. 

I found the topic but I am not sure how to begin. Maybe we can dissect the topic. I mean, what even is personality? 

If personality is defined by the way I am naturally, the aptest word to describe myself would be "quiet". I am a man of few words. Not always though. Sometimes, where I find my niche, I talk a lot. But then, overall, I am a quiet man. 

A bit sensitive as well. That was the next word that came to my mind. I know that I should not take things personally and I try not to be overtaken by it. But my heart knows very well that I am often being stung by it. It is no big deal for me though. After all, I am a human. 

Let's keep it two for the day. Not all things should be shared. 

In the same crisis again

 Just when I think I am good, some existential question creeps in and ruins my mood. But that was few weeks ago. I do not think I do have the time and space in my mind to think over such things when reality hits hard. I am at the mere mercy of few bucks in my wallet and I have realized that if life does not come from you first, then it hits you first and fast. 

The Weight

As a kid, I had trivial things to be worried about, which absolutely at the time seemed serious. All the smiles, giggles and hummings we made were not just out of blue but because everything seemed fine. 

Soon, I would learn to carry small loads of weight on my shoulder, because life is not easy for most of us. Then there, my boyhood worries seemed easy, even funny.

As I grow older, I always think, there will always be things to be worried off and as long as you are alive, that would not end. And that I would see any troubles right now in retrospect as childish as any worries do. 

So, I tell myself, "You got this one life and you are going to drown yourself in the weight of other people's expectations?"

And of course, that does not mean that you should not be responsible. A weight of worry, can power your work but to be ensalved by it, that is not the way, my brother. 

 Every time I see sunset riding up the hill, I want to be on the line between the light and shadow.

My analogy of hard work

We are shaped by beliefs. The way we thnk, act and speak ultimately arise from the sets of beliefs we have. That is what I think. 

That is why we should often question one's beliefs-check if there are any errors-and open up to new ideas. 

I have seen people working hard. But I have also come to think pressure and hard work are two different things. Some people pressurize thier hardwork. So much so that I have grown a little distaste to it. I think there are times when you can work hard and times when you can smart if off. 

Although I am no hard worker, I have thought about the idea and had an analogy, which might be used to explain it to kids. 

Once I was resting beneath a pine tree on the way home. I was around 15. 

I had some gooseberries in my pockets to chew on the way. 

The shadows of twilight were clmbing up on the other side of the mountain. 

I started to chew one. I would not do it normally but this time I was observing every moment carefully. 

As soon as I crashed it between my teeth, I heard it crack open. The bitterness spread throughout but I would not stop continuing the chewing. Why? I knew it tasted much better in the end. 

I was thinking "this is the same thing with doing hardwork".

We know hard work brings success. But we do not put in it still. Why? Because we do not have an immediate reward that chewing gooseberries bring on in reality. You are many times given the same bitter taste in the end despite "you" thinking you have given in all. 

That was what I thought. 

Lost in Sikkim

 

This tale happened once upon a time. It is a bit of history with a glamour of romance and comedy.  By chance, it has become my favorite that I often like to recollect at evenings.   

I always dreamt travelling. Preferably, in nature. And on the night of November 23, 1999, dad told me we were going to Sikkim the next week. I was 17 then.  I am 71 now and such fragments from my past floods whenever I am alone.

My dad was a professional bird-watcher. He fancied trees and weird birds. I guess that was why he chose Sikkim. His earnings were not big in addition. My mom left for the world beyond when I was four. Therefore, it was only two of us.

December 2, 1999.

 Halting a night at my aunt’s house in Phuntsholing, dad and I caught the train to Darjeeling. 

I felt for the first time. That feeling when I knew that my dream was unfurling. The more I gazed out of the window of the little train, I could smell the Himalaya again-this time with a flavour of spices in it; the blue pine and the stunted plants that were about to be robed in snow. I really wish you know that feeling.

 Around twilight, we reached there and we could feel home. This was my first time outside of my village and somehow I felt home. Darjeeling seemed to me like a swirling castle, like the DNA strands. My dad’s friend, Sangay Lepcha, who did the same course with him at Calcutta, came to pick us. And I wish again here! That you feel the classic aura of him. Easy to converse and a sense of humor hung over his mouth. We rode in his Audi to Yangtey, Sikkim.

 Uncle had rented a Britsih-built villa for us. And I said to dad that night “Dad, I might try to sleep in the attic. Like the British kids I saw in movies”. He winked at me. Sleep took my tiredness off and the cool air often found warmth on my cheeks. 

 Next morning, around dawn, there was a tap on my forehead. A soft one though. I guess this was the alarm. Amused, half awake, I opened my left eye small.  And there stood a girl.

 To my little surprise, she hushed in low voice, “Tea for you.”

 “Thanks” That was all I could mutter in response. 

She just smiled and stood there. Silence. We could hear the morning break with soft rustles of leaves and some unknown birds, similar to the ones in my village singing. 

"Whatever, just drink it. Many people say our tea is nicer". 

 Nothing more from her, she turns and goes to the veranda. 

 A little taller than me, uncannily egg-shaped face, attached ears and blue eyes and light skin! I was a bit surprised.  I went in the pretext of drinking tea to the veranda expecting her there. 

Hands rested on the wooden deck, she was just looking out. 

I was about to sip the tea when I realized that I could use it to start conversation. Bringing back the cup to my mouth, I told her,"Nice eyes"

 She turned her head towards me, stared and chuckled. 

“Drink your tea” 

“Was your dad a English? Or your mom?”

“How do you know?” she asked me back. 

“Dad. I came here for vacation". At last a wry smile. "I like it here"

The morning was fully broken then and she quickly said, “Ohh! I forgot to get tea for your dad.” She went downstairs and I heard her say, “See you in the evening”

Some people can fascinate you more than anything. It was only few moments but I realized I was liking her than the place I came to. 

 

 

 

As I see it

 It boggles me. That gazillions of thoughts go past inside this small head. And yet how incapacitated we are to the others' thoughts. All that we think we know about what they think are biased assumptions.  

Authors I like

 It has been ages since I have read any books. I like reading but now it is mostly with samrtphone which I am attached to. 

Anyhow, the point is I have one author who stood out amongst others. I like Roald Dahl's books. He writes children's books but I really like his simplicity of word usage. The phrases are combined of words that are used in everyday life but he has this element of eloquence in it. Danny The Champion Of The World is one of my favourites. 

I would not leave Jeff Kinney. The series of Diary of Wimpy Kids are so good. 

Both of these authors have excellent touches of humour. Here is one of my favourite quotes by Roald Dahl:

“I was glad my father was an eye-smiler. It meant he never gave me a fake smile because it’s impossible to make your eyes twinkle if you aren’t feeling twinkly yourself. A mouth-smile is different. You can fake a mouth-smile any time you want, simply by moving your lips. I’ve also learned that a real mouth-smile always has an eye-smile to go with it. So watch out, I say, when someone smiles at you but his eyes stay the same. It’s sure to be a phony.”